Just today, I was on my Coast Guard Spouses site where there was a HUGE thread about a girl having a problem with her mother-in-law (MIL). As you can imagine, there was some bashing and a few mean words. Some of the reasons for being upset with the MIL was understandable, like thinking that the racing bucket seats in her Mustang convertible hugged the body so well that there was no need to put her 3 year old grandson in a carseat while they were racing down the highway with the top down. Hmmm....yes, I guess I would be upset about that. But I think what riled me up was the fact that MIL's seem to get this bad rap. Sometimes, I don't think that daughters-in-law (DIL) really know that they are the ones acting a bit out of hand. I have seen DIL's do some idiotic things but put the blame on the MIL, or make things up in their head because of a lack of communication between the two women. It's not a good situation.
So that lead me to want to say...THERE ARE GOOD MOTHERS-IN-LAW OUT THERE!!! I can name several! First, I have to say my own mother-in-law, Bobbie Belkin. I met Bobbie back in 1995 when Greg and I were first dating. Greg and I were living in different states, but wanted to spend Thanksgiving together. I was invited to spend the family holiday with Greg and his parents in Maine for a few days. I was quite nervous meeting his parents for the first time, but easily got over my fears. I went up again for Christmas, and then the following summer, they invited me to spend two weeks with them in Alaska river rafting down the Tatshenshini River. Seriously...if you can handle spending that long of time in the confines of a raft with your future in-laws, you can overcome anything! And really, it was a WONDERFUL trip! In 2000, Greg and I married and it became official, I became a daughter-in-law. She and Herb (my father-in-law) went above and beyond for Greg and I. They helped us when we needed it, and gave us a lot of advice and support when we asked. Eleven months after our wedding, Herb passed away unexpectedly, and Greg helped his mother through a difficult time in her life. Throughout the next few months and years, our lives changed, babies were born, and we grew a little older, but Bobbie was still always there for us as she had always been before. She taught me how to play mah-jong, we spend afternoons trying to figure out words with 7 little letter tiles while playing Scrabble, and we enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune together. If they ever do a MIL/DIL event on that show, I'm signing us up!!! Seriously!!! We could definitely win some "big money" on that show!! I couldn't imagine having anyone else for a mother-in-law, and never would want anyone else. She's also a very good grandma too!! Just ask my kids.
Another good mother-in-law...my grandma, Rita Mutschlechner. As she always says, "I didn't have any daughters, but each of my son's gave me a great daughter-in-law." I think that's quite a nice statement. And I imagine each of her DIL's feel the same about her. She a down-to-earth woman, very loving, and one of the best cooks you'll ever meet. Just ask her to make you a pecan pie and you'll think you were in heaven! Ok, I think I'm hungry now!
Another good one....my mom! At first, I was thinking, she's not a MIL yet, but goodness gracious, where is my brain?? She's is Greg's MIL. I have to say she's quite a good one...just let me tell you my conversation with her a week ago.
Mom: I'm happy that Greg get's home tomorrow.
Me: Me too!
Mom: Make sure your house is clean, he doesn't need to come home to a dirty house.
Me: Yes Mother.
Mom: And make sure you have something good for him to eat. He might be hungry.
Me: Yes Mother.
Mom: And let him put his feet up. Don't ask him to do anything, he needs his rest after a long trip.
Me: YES MOTHER!!! Goodness! He didn't just finish building the Panama Canal down there with his bare hands, he should be fine.
Mom: Denise!!
Me: Ok, I will. Fine.... (grumbling from me).
So yes, my mom is a good MIL. She certainly cares about her son-in-law, sometime more than she seems to worry about me! Ok, not really, but she sure does love him! And that's something great. She's also about to get a daughter-in-law, and I know she really loves Roger's future wife. So I'm sure she'll be super excited when those two get married. Plus, she's a good grandma too. I have to say my kids really lucked out with two WONDERFUL grandma's and a great-grandma.
As for the other's I know, they are all around such as my Aunt Annalisa. And then there are some future MIL's that I know will be wonderful, like my Aunt Gloria and Cousins-in-law Summer and Jill. I hope someday I'll get a DIL that will think wonderful things about me, as I do for my MIL.
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